INVENTIONS THAT NEED TO BE INVENTED

So I'm sitting here preparing to write my final exam essay for government, and am feeling more than a little uninspired. So I think I came up with something that could inspire me and millions of lazy people worldwide. A Tone-Loc Motivational Doll.

Basically it would be a 12 inch doll, in the image of Tone-Loc. The doll would say "Let's do it" like at the beginning of "Wild Thing" when you pulled a string or pushed a button or squeezed its head; however those things work. I think this is what the world needs: Tone-Loc as some sort of patron saint of inspiration. Maybe if J.D. Salinger had one of these, he'd come out of hiding. Maybe if Mos Def had one of these, he'd give the world another Black On Both Sides. Maybe if JaMarcus Russell had one of these he wouldn't make people forget about Ryan Leaf.

THE LATEST ADDITION TO THE FAMILY...

Got these about a month ago. I think sneakers have replaced that compulsion I had growing up trying to find records/CDs and Star Wars action figures (yes, very nerdy). I think the Internet killed my desire to hunt down music. I mean actually leaving my bedroom to hunt it down. (Strangely though, I think I'm still looking for new stuff, just not actually going into stores.) Star Wars figures...well, I think we can think George Lucas for ruining my desire to pursue Star Wars figures, though I'll have fond memories of the pre-Jar Jar Binks Era. So I moved on to sneakers.

These are Air Maxims, merging the classic look of the Air Max 1 with the Flywire technology. The past meeting the future.

The sad part of all this...can't wear them till next spring. To have something so beautiful marred by the wintry New England grit and slush, would be a crime.

Thanks to Goliath for having these on sale for a criminally low price and to Dallas Penn for alerting my of said sale.

PULLING A BONO

I write words about things for another site called Forces of Geek. Today, in my piece , I wrote about a phenomenon that I like to call "pulling a Bono." I wrote about how Kid rock often pulls a Bono at VH1's Hip Hop Honors." What does it take to pull a Bono you ask? I left it to a professional to definite it...my good friend The Wolf. The Wolf calls it like he see it, defining it as where an artist.

When asked for a definition, he specifically referred to Bono's commentary in the Shane MacGowan documentary The Great Hunger. The Wolf said Bono thinks he's "making some 'deep' comment about that artist’s talent." Furthermore, The Wolf said he "thinks of (Bono) as sort of an uber-famous and rich hipster…who ruins things I would otherwise enjoy with his stupid comments and less-than-stellar observations, thereby decreasing their awesomeness." That sums it up perfectly. To play devil's advocate, I'd like to add that I think Bono in all his majesty is probably being sincere when he pulls his eponymous move. However, this doesn't make it right. It's a lot like high school when I found out all the jocks were really into Rage Against The Machine. It kind of made RATM a little less special in my eyes which pushed me further into getting into hardcore, namely Inside Out. When your personal taste gets tainted by the wrong crowd, it puts a damper on things.

Examples of pulling a Bono:


Bonus: Eddie Vedder pulls a Bono while inducting The Ramones into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

REALLY, DR. DRE? SERIOUSLY?

I know I don't post often but every now and then something gets my proverbial goat.

Instead of releasing the greatest record that has never come out, Detox, Dr. Dre is adding an overpriced laptop which you can buy along with his overpriced headphones. Frankly, I don't care if Detox never comes out. I really don't. Maybe he should just concentrate on doing steroids working out and lay off the music. If he worked on that instead of bodybuilding, maybe he'd have a record out.

Dr. Dre, laptop, still no detox via Nah Right.

A reminder of when Dr. Dre was relevant (at least to me)

FOG: DRAKE IS STILL CORNY

http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2009/09/drake-forever-feat-kanye-west-lil-wayne.html

FOG-Summer Jams

http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2009/08/summer-jams.html

SMARTEN UP, NAS?

And you thought "Ether" was brutal.

I Date You So Much Right Now from jeff on Vimeo.

Courtesy of Itsthereal.com

FORCES OF GEEK: DRAKE-THE BEST I EVER HAD WTF?

Another Forces of Geek post. This time about Next Big Thing Drake's "Best I Ever Had" video.

SHOCK THE NATION, LIKE THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION

Found this video at Nah Right. Wu-Tang+Lego=dopeness.

Wu-Tang Lego: Da Mystery of Chessboxin' from davo on Vimeo.

BORN AT THE RIGHT TIME/NICE HOE COLLECTION

I know. I'm a bad blogger. I've been busy, but that's no excuse. I found the following video on Nahright. It reminds me how entertaining the fan video can be. Usually, they're pretty good because you see how a fan interpreted a song or how they would have shot the video different. Sometimes though, it's just a bunch of jackass kids (no Steve-O). This makes me glad I was born when I was. I have a feeling if I had come up in this Youtube generation, I would have ended up making a video, if not several, like this one. Sure, it seems fun at the time, but then you end up being an adult and your adolescent follies are captured...on the Internet...forever and ever.

That said, this is fuckin' funny.

One, the kid looks like the bastard son of my friend Jared and McLovin of Superbad fame. If two men could make a baby, this would be him. (Hypothetically, I assume you could make a clone of the two Serpentor-style but...never mind. Let me just tuck my nerd back into its hole.)

Two, the ho(e) collection. Even though there are no actual hoes in the collection, I got the joke. Well played, young one.

Three, the McNabelovin clone lip-synching about having sex. There's comedy in itself.

Four, the extra wearing a Rashad McCants Timberwolves jersey. Not a UNC McCants jersey but Timberwolves jersey. Apparently, they were out of Michael Olowokandi jerseys.

Here it is.

FORCES OF GEEK: WAITING FOR THE GOD...

http://www.forcesofgeek.com/2009/02/waiting-for-god.html

TEEN WOLF SNEAKERS

Teen Wolf sneakers...seriously....amazing...seriously.

Forces of Geek

Yeah, so I'm writing a weekly column over here now...which is good if you feel like you're being neglected on this blog and by you...I mean the one follower I have.

http://www.forcesofgeek.com

AND I THOUGHT PATRIOTS FANS WERE BABIES.....

Imagine if you had to root for the Oakland Raiders for 16 games a year. Now, that is some sad shit. Not a team that had the greatest comeback in the history of the Super Bowl, but a team that seems like The Bad News Bears...if The Bad News Bears were millionaires who worked for an insane old man. Or a Knicks fan where you try to dredge up the glory years in your memories to remind yourself it wasn't always like this. Or a Mets fan where you start counting down the days to an epic collapse, the minute that the first pitch is thrown on Opening Day.

This reminds me of that scene in The Godfather where Don Corleone screams "You can act like a man."



Stop your blood clot crying.

STICK-UP KIDS ARE STILL OUT TO TAX......

Seriously. Anyone who has watched Eddy Curry play basketball knows that he's a cream puff. He's puppy paw soft (word to 40). So to think that he sexually harassed someone is RIDICULOUS. He has never ever showed the slightest amount of aggression on the court, lest it be mistaken for effort and justify his absurd $8,000,000 salary.

Curry's accuser, David Kuchinsky, is a former felon. I'm not saying people can't change, but it doesn't lend to his credibility. My favorite part (and the most far-fetched part of this story) is where Curry would stand nude in front of Kuchinsky and say "Come and touch it, Dave." That just seems ridiculous. It sounds like something you'd say to a girl when you're fifteen. I'm just curious how many future fantasy sports teams will be dubbed "Come And Touch It, Dave." (Note to self for next week's trivia team)

My guess is that Kuchinsky saw an easy mark in Curry because...he's Eddy Curry, the poor man's Michael Olowokandi. Curry, already a victim of a home invasion a few years ago, is probably still a little shook. I imagine the shakedown went like this.

Kuchinsky: Give me two million.

Curry: What? No.

Kuchinsky: Give me two million or I'm going to make up the weirdest stuff and have your face splashed all over The Post and The Daily News.

Curry: No.

Kuchinsky: Have it your way.

Kuchinsky probably just thought to play up Curry's cream puff status and intimate that Curry is a closeted homosexual. In the post-John Amaechi era, maybe he figured he'd ruin Curry's career (a feat Curry has achieved on his own), maybe get to write a book about his life as the chauffeur of a closeted NBA player.

An underachieving, salary cap vampire with a heart problem (in every sense)? Yes. Sexual harasser? (Or should I say his-asser? Thank you. I'll be here all week. I just flew in from Israel and, boy, are my arms tired.) Probably not. But it still makes for an interesting story line to the love/hate relationship the New York Knickerbockers organization has developed with their fans these last few disastrous years.

Wait. I wonder if there's a morals clause that can get Curry released for his alleged antics. If there is, sign me up for Team Kuchinsky.