Wednesday, December 12, 2007

TOP 10 WHITE RAPPERS

This article originally appeared at www.forcesofgood.blogspot.com.

In honor of VH1's wildly entertaining ego trip's The (White) Rapper Show, I present a list of the finest melanin-deficient MCs.

(Note: I'll be countering this with a list of the ten greatest black rockers, as to not catch an "Imus.")

1. R.A. The Rugged Man
The best rapper most people have never heard of.

Trivia: Once released a song called "Every Record Label Sucks D**k." This may have had something to do with his label's inability to market him.



R.A. The Rugged Man - "Lessons" from Die, Rugged Man, Die


2. Cage
The illest four letter in the world is Cage.

Trivia: His song "Agent Orange" produced by Necro, samples the theme from A Clockwork Orange.



Cage - "Shoot Frank" from Hell's Winter


3. Eminem
Somehow, he didn't know that Elton John was gay. No word yet on if he's realized that water is wet.



Eminem - "Lose Yourself" from 8 Mile Soundtrack


4. Beastie Boys
Who would have thought that a group who had an inflatable penis during their concerts would go on to hang out with the Dalai Lama?



Beastie Boys - "Shake Your Rump" from Paul's Boutique


5. El-P
Hip-hop's version of Phillip K. Dick




6. Everlast (House of Pain)
Does anyone remember going to shows in the early 90s where there were at least two dudes with shaved heads and goatees wearing Celtics jerseys? Yeah, me too.




7. 3rd Bass
Mostly known for their smash hit/Vanilla Ice diss "Pop Goes The Weasel," their breakout single was "The Gas Face" in which they managed to diss MC Hammer and former South African president P.W. Botha. Eventually, God decided that P.W. Botha got the gas face.



3rd Bass - "The Gas Face" from The Cactus Album


8. Ill Bill
Political yet gangsta.




9. Sage Francis
2000 Scribble Jam freestyle champ who eschewed the battle scene to do more political music. (See: 2001's "Makeshift Patriot")




10. Joe Strummer
The original white rapper, Joe Strummer was first introduced to hip-hop during The Clash's seventeen show stint at Bond's Casino in New York City. Guitarist Mick Jones loved it so much that he began rocking Cazals (large oversized glasses like The Human Beatbox of The Fat Boys wore) and carrying a boombox, earning the nickname "Wack Attack."



The Clash - "Magnificent Seven" from Sandinista!




Honorable Mention:
Brian Austin Green

5 comments:

Christian said...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

This might help.

Anonymous said...

i honestly can't believe you put cage before sage francis. Cage really sucks. His beats are corny, his raps are self absorbedl, and his cadence is unoriginal and shows a serious lack of talent (eg: emphasizing the last word of every line)

Anonymous said...

where is slug on this list, he should be on no. 1

Anonymous said...

Evidence? Vinnie Paz?

Anonymous said...

where's aesop? he should be at the top!