Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Sunday, December 28, 2008

MTV's BABY (like a fetus) STEPS TO REDEMPTION....

While enjoying Xmas cheer with my family, I got to watch all those MTV spinoff channels that I don't get in New Haven. So imagine my surprise that MTV Jams (really? the best thing you can call your urban music video channel?) was playing the video for Wale's "Nike Boots" and The Cool Kids' "Delivery Man." Can't believe they took time off of playing that Plies' video where he talks about being in love and that Young Jeezy video where he says "Yeaaahhhh" a bunch of times. While "Nike Boots" is a pretty old song, it's still a good look for Wale to get some exposure. It's little things like this that make those silver linings.

MTV Jams: 98% garbage, 2% quality.



Monday, December 15, 2008

BYE-BYE, ENDY. HELLO, PUTZ.

Mets outfielder Endy Chavez was traded last week to Seattle for reliever J.J. Putz. While I don't know a lot about Putz, I hear he's supposed to be a definite upgrade from the usual revolving door of game-blowers [II]. Despite not being the greatest of ballplayers, he always played with a lot of heart and effort which is a rarity these days. Mostly, I'll remember him for giving my most recent Mets memory that didn't make me want to Sylvia Plath myself. That amazing catch that made me think the Mets were destined to go to the World Series. (Carlos Beltran and his immobile bat had different plans). So bye-bye, Endy. Thanks for the memories.

<br/><a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?vid=b0869358-5f43-48f0-bc19-fee9c82bbacd" target="_new" title="Endy Chavez&#39;s leaping catch">Video: Endy Chavez&#39;s leaping catch</a>

Friday, December 12, 2008

Remember Me?

What I've been up to:

-work (gotta get paid)

-School (get your learn on)

-realizing being a sports fan (Knicks, Mets and *sigh* Raiders) will probably put me in an early grave. I may want to start smoking cigarettes....laced with crack. That would probably save me the heartache. At least that way, I'd know how it would end.

-trying to figure out which is the best record I've heard all year. (Yeah, I still call them records) It's between Nas' Untitled, The Roots' Rising Down and Kanye West's 808s and Heartbreak. Each one brings something different to the table, but lacks something that another one has. I also really liked Wale's The Mixtape About Nothing. I'll get into these later. (No really. I won't disappear again. Seriously. Honest. Pinky swear)

-meeting up with fellow bloggers and wearers of fine footwear (a.k.a. Sneaker Fiends) Dallas Penn and Grand Master.

-Realized I don't care if Dr. Dre's Detox ever comes out. While Dr. Dre is a super-producer, legend, (insert your favorite term of endearment here), I really don't care. I don't think he's made a beat that I've really liked since The Chronic. Wait, I liked "Next Episode" and "Still D.R.E." I think it could be as underwhelming as Chinese Democracy. Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2? That's another story.

That's enough for now. Tune in tomorrow, where I'll post two days in a row.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

WHEN DID TOM SELLECK START PLAYING FOR THE YANKEES?


I'm a little out of the baseball loop but it appears Jason Giambi has grown quite the Selleck-esque mustache. Not quite sure what that's all about. Hopefully, this will lead to him wearing matching leather vest and hat a la the biker from The Village People.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

PARDON THE INTERRUPTION

I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I've been busying finishing the semester, being poor, starting a new job, packing/moving.

Things will resume in June.

Coming in June: My (ahem) tardy review of Rising Down, a piece on Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" and whatever else rolls around my brain.

@Robbi: Don't take it personally. I don't. I'm lethally sarcastic. I'm sure you're very talented and my words don't mean that much to you. Good luck with Google. (I kid)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

MISS RAP SUPREME: EPISODE 2


So I missed the end of last week's episode. Like I predicted, Lionezz got booted. But hold up. Khia got caught recycling a rhyme from one of her albums. (Honestly, I don't think Serch really recognized that from one of her CDs. Come on. Really, now. Serch does not own a Khia CD.) While not only a violation, iSerch exposed Khia as a one-hit wonder who couldn't write under pressure. Anyway, Khia gets the boot and Lionezz is reinstated. Khia seems relieved to go. Unfortunately, I don't think they really made her do the walk of shame out of the Fembassy with the official "Step Off" stamp of disapproval. Probably because she might have pulled a boxcutter. While she made for great train-wreck TV, I think she diluted the competition because she wasn't really giving it her all. When you write "My Neck, My Back" you can kind of coast through anything, I guess.

Serch and Yo-Yo make the contestants compete in a tracksuit competition where they have to design their own tracksuit. While entertaining, this doesn't really have much to do with actual mic skills, so it seems kind of trivial.

Back to the music, the ladies are split into teams and have to collaborate to write a sexy club-type track that will be performed in a club. Byata captains a team of Rece, Bree and Chiba. Miss Cherry heads up a squad of Nicky2States, D.A.B., Lionezz and Lady Twist. Miss Cherry drops the ball which is shocking considering I have her in my final four. It seems like Ms. Cherry has lost her arch-rival, so she kind of feels like a Batman with no Joker. She'll pull it together after this. Ms. Cherry's team also seemed a little thrown back by having to perform the "so seductive" song in front of a lesbian audience. Despite this wrench in the works, D.A.B. delivers an impressive performance. On the flip side, Byata's team's choreography kind of broke apart, but the team still pulled off a strong showing. It was kind of like a busted play in football. Byata even flubs her words, but she kept it moving and acted like nothing happened. She's got superstar status.

Byata's team gets the win, but this leads to some friction between her and Chiba for no real reason. Just drama. Drama aside, I feel like the competition is heating up. As Serch always screams "This is not a game" and I think it's becoming quite apparent. While I initially I wasn't sure about this, the competitive angle is starting to run neck and neck with the campy side of this show.

Elimination Round. Topic: what turns you off.

Nicky2States: while usually known as one of the more charismatic characters with a gift for profanity, she spits a tame sixteen about how she can only be herself. Kind of reminiscent of some poetry from the diary of a 14 yr old girl (c) David Cross. While this showed her vulnerable side and impressed Serch, I think she took the easy road on that one. Usually, she reminds me of a female DMX. Not this time.

Lady Twist: The dark horse. Storyteller verse. Pretty much the best of the elimination round. If she doesn't make the final four, I'll be amazed.

Lionezz: While she seems more confident and more "in it to win it" since her resurrection, she needs to step out of battle mode. I feel like the language barrier
keeps her from understanding the context of the rhyme assignments.

Ms. Cherry: Drops the ball AGAIN. She stumbles over her words again. Poor showing from another of my projected final four. I think this will be the wakeup call because she was a hair away from getting the boot.

D.A.B.: Half-whispering her rhymes but then losing her train of thought in the middle. I think being picked last for every challenge may have shook her confidence which is too bad because during the club performance she nailed it.

Ultimately, D.A.B.'s stumble was worse than Miss Cherry's.

The battle continues...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

DJ PREMIER SPEAKS...


Primo. DJ Premier's nickname pretty much sums up the man in two syllables. Is he the greatest producer ever? Possibly. In the top 3 producers ever? Easily.

With that said, I always like to read or find out how artists create their works, what inspires them, how they develop certain pieces, et cetera. (I'm a nerd like that.) A German hip-hop site has an MP3 of DJ Premier talking about the stories behind some of his classics like "Words I Manifest," "Nas Is Like" and others. It really shows the difference between an artist and someone who puts out music. (There is a difference.) Also, there's a bittersweet tale of how he found out about the passing of Big L.

Enjoy.

DJ Premier-14 Deadly Secrets mixed by DJ Derezon & Illfated Tre


Via spinemagazine.com

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

EGO TRIP'S MISS RAP SUPREME SHOW

I'm sure all the cool kids live-blogged ego trip's "Miss Rap Supreme" last night with their fancy cable television, DVRs and such. Well, here at EB headquarters, we're not on the cutting edge. No siree. I had to go to VH1's website to watch it. Anyway, let's get to it.

MC Serch is back again, along with Yo-Yo, to host this show. The preliminary elimination round is done pageant style where they each have to do a sixteen bar verse. From that round here's my take on the contestants in the preliminary round.

-Miss Cherry: From the South. Sixteen bars were okay.

Rece Steele-From the Bronx. Raps in that on-the-corner-cipher style. (See any "Smack" DVD)

-Nicky2States: A little too hardcore with no real direction in her verse. But not really hardcore (like M.O.P.) but just lot of cursing. Has been rapping for a year. That's more than obvious.

-Lionezz: German. Can see language barrier being a problem.

-Fabrisha Dankins: White hipster from Brooklyn (my guess is Williamsburg). Uses a tambourine to keep beat). Also in her verse, she uses "challah" but pronounces the "ch." The "ch" in challah is pronounced "kuh" sound crossed with a coughing up phlegm sound. I know I'm being overly technical but these things matter....like when Greg Nice said "Dizzy Gillespie plays the sax" in "Funky For You." (*sidenote: Being white and choosing Fabrisha Dankins which you know isn't her real name, kind of sounds like nominal blackface. It's like if I was going to law school and changed my Moshe Goldblattstein. I'm just saying)

-Chiba: Pretty good verse. Reminds me of Left Eye. Ironically, she damaged her left eye in a car accident.

-Bree: Feminem. Not quite G-Child but along those lines.

-Hedonis Da Amazon: Gave the verse "handing out free abortions." Gets my vote.

-Robbi: Rhymed like someone reading Dr. Seuss on too much 'tussin.

-Byata: Wait. I think I've heard her before. She was on that Think Differently: Wu-Tang comp a few years back. She's Russian, from Brooklyn and so far, is my pick to win it all.

-Lady Merk The Black Russian: While I don't know if she's an actual black Russian, she is black and does rap in Russian...the entire time. Hopefully, they will pair her up with Byata to do "Ebony & Ivory (Russian Rap Remix)."

-Lady Twist: Has a Twista-like delivery but adds a Bone Thugs style melody. She should make the cut.

-D.A.B: Used to be addicted to heroin and has a trouble past.

-Khia: Thought it was pronounced Kia, like the car. You would think having a hit single (not to be confused with a good song) would eliminate you from the competition but there she is. I hope this doesn't take away from her blogging time.

-Miss CKC: Horrible but funny. But not that funny that you could stomach 12 episodes of her.

The 10 finalists: Ms. Cherry, Rece Steele, Nicky2States, Lionezz, Chiba, Bree, Byata, Lady Twist, D.A.B. and Khia.

My picks: Ms. Cherry, Chiba, Byata and Lady Twist.

Other random notes:

-Nicky2States is not very good. Next to the German chick, who doesn't speak English that well, she's the worst rapper.

-Nicky2States also blessed us with the quote during a drunken game of "Truth Or Dare": "Alcohol makes you let down your prohibitions." It also makes you lose your inner thesaurus.

-Two near-catfights. One due to Ms. Cherry calling out Khia for being a one-hit wonder. The other between D.A.B. and Nicky2States just on out and out bitchery. I have a feeling this may be "Flavor Of Love....of The Mic."

-The German chick will probably be the first one booted due to her lack of knowing the language. Example: "You're the reason I keep it feminine/People don't call you "lady"/They call you an ugly gentleman." Stick to rhyming in German and you'll be huge...in Germany...like Hasselhoff.

As for the episode, the challenge to rap in front of sistas/sisters was interesting. They sent one team to a beauty shop, mostly consisting of older women, in South Central LA and another to a sorority house. The team who got the beauty shop one because Ms. Cherry had the sense to write an empowering hook focused on women, so they connected with their audience. The sorority house team, led by Nicky2States, had no game plan which is probably why they failed...miserably.

In the elimination round, where they had to write about women or the strength of women or something like that, everyone does so-so. Most of them missed the point. Khia continues the beef with Ms. Cherry by glaring at her during her verse about respect. More or less, Lionezz will be the first to go. Her elimination round verse was bad. Plus she stopped right in the middle. (ESL classes. Get your English on.) The cliffhanger ending leaves us wondering who will get the axe. Guess we'll find out next week.

Friday, April 4, 2008

POSSE IN EFFECT

Here's a visual for the audio from on DallasPenn.com. Black Eye Boom Bap Posse Rap Cage Match .

While I can't find all the videos, here's a sampling.

The Juice Crew - The Symphony


Sometimes, I wonder if they should have sued Mario Van Peebles for biting the black cowboy idea he used in Posse. Then again...

EPMD feat. K-Solo and Redman - The Headbanger




What happened in the 90s where every video had to be filmed in an abandoned warehouse/factory, with fire and baseball bats and chains and dogs barking? For the most part, everyone stopped smiling and started scowling.

Craig Mack feat. Notorious B.I.G., Rampage, LL Cool J and Busta Rhymes - Flava In Ya Ear (remix)



Honestly, I can turn it off right after Biggie's verse. I can't imagine anyone thinking "I can top that." This must be like finding out your ex-girlfriend dated Peter North.

Things this video makes me glad about:
-visors going out of style (for the most part)
-no more Puffy dances in videos
-Biggie

Things I don't like:
-LL Cool J's verse. What kind of gobbledygook was that? "Skeevy. Delicious."

De La Soul feat. Q-Tip, Vinia Mojica - A Rollerskating Jam Called Saturday



This is one of those magical songs, like most of The Jackson 5 catalog, where once you hear it, you're in a good mood. Like if you found out your girlfriend used to date Peter North and you heard this song, you'd feel better. This will definitely get played at my wedding. (Not that I'm getting married. But if I do, this is on the playlist)

Bonus: This one didn't make DP's list but it's one of my favorites

Cool Breeze feat. Outkast and Goodie Mob - Watch For The Hook


Dope beat, great rhymes. Plus, it's got a Reservoir Dogs theme to it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

THIS WHY DUKE (STILL) SUCKS

As mentioned in my last blog, the follow-up to last year's smash hit "This Is Why Duke Sucks." It's funny how he flips the whole "becoming what you hate so much" concept.

Courtesy of RosenbergRadio.com

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

THIS IS WHY DUKE SUCKS

Being a fan of the UConn men's basketball team has shaped the way I watch college basketball. Namely, it's driven me to hate Duke. Now, a lot of fans don't like Duke. But outside of the ACC, UConn fans have the most reason to hate them. Christian Laettner for stepping on Rod Sellers' chest (and getting away with it while Rod was ejected for not taking to kindly to Laettner's "accident") and for burying The Dream Season with a buzzer-beater. Eventually, these transgressions were avenged but the fact remains: Fuck Duke. Always and forever.

With March Madness is less than 24 hours away, I felt this video would set the mood nicely.



Courtesy of RosenbergRadio.com

*Note: Peter made a video for this year but I guess he took it off where he mocked the Duke program to the tune of Eminem's stalker ballad "Stan." Unfortunate.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

HIP-HOP MEETS PUNK ROCKERS UPTOWN....AT THE MALL


Tapered jeans. Extra-medium shirts. Spiked belts. New Era caps. Who'd ever have thought the hip-hop kids and punk rock kids would be dressing alike? While this officially puts me in the "old man" category, it's a positive sign for the world.

Now, it looks like we have the first love child of this multi-cultural union: "Birthday Girl." After leaking two incredible, Lou Ferrigno-on-coke singles, "75 Bars (Black's Reconstruction)" and "Get Busy," their first single features Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump on the hook. Before I heard the song, I read about Stump's appearance. Immediately, that queasy feeling overwhelmed me...like when you found out your first girlfriend blew the frontcourt of the school hoops team while you had mono. (Not that that happened, but you can imagine what it'd be like if it did.) Mostly, I jumped to this conclusion after Stump produced and added his "emo banshee" style on Lupe Fiasco's "Little Weapon" which he also produced.

Anyway, let's get down to brass tacks. Despite its saccharine feel, Black Thought did not slack on this tale of an underaged groupie. The music has a very relaxed feel. But it's a little too laid back, conjuring up images of high school ska bands. Is it poppy? Yes. Is it horrible? No. I mean compared to the actual feces pieces that pass as music these days (Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, et cetera), it's not bad. Is it The Roots' best work? No. Will it help them sell a lot of records and expand their fanbase? Probably. The cross-marketing strategy with one of the biggest bands in the country was pretty brilliant. (And we should be thankful they collaborated with Stump instead of that style-biting, guyliner-wearing douche nozzle. Yes, there's been some uproar amongst their fans, but I think it's a bit premature. Some fans and critics act as if Black Thought announced that he was engaged to Paris Hilton. And yes, the dreaded S (rhymes with "fell out") word has been tossed around. Selling out is such a If they had written a song about a new dance they had created called the Dirty Sanchez or some such nonsense, the cry of sellout would have been appropriate. But sometimes an established band branches out tries something new. The Clash did "Rock The Casbah" and Bruce Springsteen did "Dancing In The Dark." Ultimately, The Roots are painting a bull's eye on their collective chest. But could it be there's a method to the madness? I think The Roots are too smart to be in it solely for the money and they're not getting enough credit for what could be a subversive move. Here's how it could play out. Joe or Joanne FOB-fan buys the CD, only because Stump is on it, it's a catchy song and the dipshit from biology class says it's like Gym Class Heroes. Upon actually listening to the whole CD, they may have their eyes opened and realize it's not all about tapered jeans and having the same haircut as your boyfriend/girlfriend. A new generation of kids get into good hip-hop. Far-fetched? Yes. Impossible? No.

Worst case scenario: The Roots sell a lot of records, expand their fanbase by five percent and still continue to make good music. Either way, it's a win-win scenario and The Roots deserve a big win.

The Roots feat. Patrick Stump: "Birthday Girl"

Thursday, March 6, 2008

THE STORY OF GANGSTALICIOUS PART 2

Fresh link at the bottom of the post.

The Boondocks keeps getting better and better. In the world of animated sitcoms, if The Simpsons are Michael Jordan, then The Boondocks would be LeBron James. It has the same satirical angles as The Simpsons but is a lot more edgier. (I hate the word "edgy" but it fits.) Like Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks and Dave Chappelle, Boondocks creator Aaron McGruder fuses comedy and social commentary to spark dialogue amongst his audience.

The latest episode focuses on Gangstalicious, a closeted gangsta rapper, who was outed to Riley Freeman, younger brother to the main character and a huge Gangstalicious fan, in the first season. "The Story of Gangstalicious Part 2" centers around the still-closeted Gangstalicious' new single "Homies over Hoes." (Oddly enough, the beat sounds a lot like D4L's "Laffy Taffy," a song that makes me want to light puppies on fire.) McGruder has fashioned Gangstalicious, voiced by Mos Def, as a sort of hip-hop Rob Halford, the Judas Priest singer who announced his homosexuality in the 1990s.

McGruder highlights the homophobic tendencies of hip-hop, along with its contradictory homoerotic subtleties. I'll let you judge for yourself. Enjoy.



alternate link: Here you go Enjoy

Friday, February 29, 2008

VIDEO: THE ROOTS "75 BARS"

Maybe this will lead to Black Thought finally getting his props as one of the best. In a world of Jim Joneses (Jonesi?) and Soulja Boys, this is a breath of fresh air. I just miss the pitbull tenacity of olden days where MCs just attacked the mic like it fondled their younger sister. And The Roots' Black Thought definitely possesses that. Also, lack of a hook...good move. The dependency on a catchy hook/chorus is another problem with hip-hop nowadays (yes, that's the grumpy old man in me). Crisp drums + ominous bassline tuba + superb lyrical effort = the best song I've heard in 2008.

As for the actual concept of the video, I can see MTV filing this one right next to Public Enemy's "By The Time I Get To Arizona" and the original version of Brand Nubian's "Wake Up" in the "Hell No" category. I don't eve know if BET will play it as there's no dance associated with the song...unless there's a dance called "Light A White Hostage On Fire." I wouldn't know as I'm not into arson...or dancing.

Let the controversy storm begin...



Via Idolator via On Smash

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I HATE R&B A/K/A WHO STOLE THE SOUL?

One of the saddest things is the death of R&B/soul. Every R&B singer sounds the same. Maybe they have different voices but it's all the same style. They all try to overdo it. Honestly, I think the last song I heard that had any driblet of soul was "No Diggity." Why? Its foundation is in that sacred-meets-secular style that sired soul. (Holy alliteration, Batman) R. Kelly? While I enjoy his comedy, he lacks soul. And I don't mean rhythm or "blackness." I mean there's no guts, heart, balls, soul in there voices. Terence Trent D'Arby had more soul than R. Kelly, Chris Brown, Usher, you name it. Somewhere in the 90s, R&B decided that it wanted to be more hip-hop. They eliminated that last shred of the musical texture left over from the 80s and made synthesized it. Thanks for nothing.

What brought on this post? I don't have cable and I'm between Netflix shipments. So I began digging through my roommate's VHS collection. I stumbled upon a blank tape. To my surprise, it was Otis Redding on Ready, Steady, Go!, the British counterpart of American Bandstand. He plows through 3 songs in a row and just keeps going and going, then he brings Eric Burdon of The Animals on. And Burdon kills it, but not like Otis. They just don't make them like they used to.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

TRACK REVIEW: "EVERYONE NOSE" - N.E.R.D.

Here's the thing: I never like club songs. I'm not a club guy. (I think I had a couple of issues when I was 17 but that's about it.) While they're often used as the single on most albums, I think club tracks are alway throwaways, just unnecessary filler. What do they give us? Shitty lyrics that sound like they're written by a horny fifteen year old over the latest lukewarm R&B tunes.

But as the old saying goes: never say never. This brings us to N.E.R.D. and their latest song, "Everyone Nose." I'll try to break down the recipe for you:

2 parts Bomb Squad-style layered drums and bongos
1/2 teaspoon Miami bass style call-and-response
1 cup electro bassline.

Aside from the joy found in The Bomb Squad tendencies, there's a message. (A club song with a message? And the message isn't "I'ma kick it to you/Then I'ma stick it to you/You like how I dick it to you") Like Melle Mel and the Furious Five's "White Lines (Don't Do It)," the message here is simple: ladies, have a good time. But go easy on the cocaine, which I think we can all stand by, unless you're Bobby Brown.

"Everyone Nose" by N.E.R.D.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

WE GOT IT FOR CHEAP VOLUME 3 PREVIEW


2008's most eagerly anticipated mixtape, The Re-Up Gang's We Got It For Cheap Volume 3, can be previewed on their blog.

Friday, February 1, 2008

DEAR GOD.....

Thanks for the early birthday present. Yeah, it cost a LOT of money. But it will be worth it, esp. after the Mets win the World Series. I feel like there are some similarities between this and the Schilling trade that, in a sense, turned around the constant mopey Red Sox and their (now insufferable) fans. This is just what they need to get over the hump.

This is good. We had to give up Carlos Gomez who was quite promising last year, but sacrifices are made in times of war.

I will now start saving up for my Santana jersey t-shirt. (Jerseys are always polyesterish and just don't feel right)

Thanks again.

J.W.

P.S. If you're not going to fix the Knicks, please throw the Raiders a bone. Different city but still shitty.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

THE WIRE INTERVIEW: WENDELL PIERCE AND ANDRE ROYO

The Wire is the best show on TV. In fact, many say that it's the best show in the history of television. I agree. That's all I can say. Seriously, it really is all I can say. When people ask me to explain, I start gushing and kind of become incoherent. It's almost as if I've become a fifteen year old girl who has her first boyfriend and stop talking about how great he is. And I can't tell you why he's great. It's not because I don't know. It's just that there are so many things you want to say to someone who's never watched it.

Anyway, the guys at The Sound Of Young America podcast did an interview with two actors, Wendell Pierce ("Bunk") and Andre Royo ("Bubbles"), from The Wire. Thankfully, they did a much better job than I did in explaining why this show is so good and why it's reached so many different demographics. For people who are too lazy to go to it. I've posted it below.



Thanks again to The Sound Of Young America. They do a great podcast with a wide range of guests like Patton Oswalt, Rhymefest and Ted Leo to name a few. You should check it out.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

SANTANA'S TOWN???

Dear God,

Please let the Mets trade for Johan Santana go off without a hitch. We need this in a bad way.

One, the Mets are The Big Apple's "other team." It's kind of like they're the Ashlee Simpson to the Yankees' Jessica Simpson. Actually, we'd be more like the Rosario Dawson-Anne Hathaway-BBU (Beautiful But Underappreciated) to Jessica Simpson. I mean you take away the "big roster" and what do you have? Not much to look at. (Okay, I'm going off another tangent now. Refocusing...)

Two, a lot of missed opportunities since '86. 1988, they lose in the playoffs to the Dodgers. (Cocaine is a hell of a drug, word to Straw and Doc.) The 90s were pretty much a disaster. Overpriced free agents that didn't pan out and who did more damage than one would expect. Bret Saberhagen threw bleach at a reporter. David Cone was accused of "warming up in the bullpen," i.e. masturbating during a game. Vince Coleman accidentally struck Dwight Gooden with a golf club. Also, Coleman threw a lit firecracker into a crowd of baseball fans in LA. Gooden's escalating cocaine habit caused his career to go up in smoke. (Or would that be "up in sniff?") Eventually, things got a little better with the arrival of Piazza and Mike Hampton. Except for that thing where Piazza got dropped by a Clemens fastball...and no one did shit. And then the incident in the Subway Series where Clemens threw a piece of a broken bat at Piazza...and no one did shit. (Seriously, someone, most likely a bench player who knew he wasn't going to play, should have just run up and snuffed Clemens.) Finally, there was last year's epic collapse which made me want to die...and throw my Mets hat into the Quinnipiac River.

In the words of Jewish philosopher J.M. Nabel, "please, just let me do this." And by "me," I mean the Mets.

Thanks for your time, God.

Your friend,

J.W.

P.S. I kinda think you owe me because you've actually done the opposite in respect to my prayers for the Knicks.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

BILLIE JEAN 2008



As good as the original? No. Enjoyable? Yes.

Enjoy.

(will.i.am, go get a late pass and capitalization. Fake ass e.e. crummings)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

JUST BECAUSE...

Deadspin always has great Youtube clips from the sports world.

Cowboys fans may not find this funny. Everyone else will laugh pretty hard, even people who don't like football.



Australian broadcaster smitten with Venus Williams' ass.

(NOTE: Me, I prefer Serena's. I'm just saying is all...)



Thanks to Deadspin

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

CD REVIEW: "SUPER GANGSTER (EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN) - STYLES P


After label politics (possibly due to his beef with 50 Cent and G-Unit) delayed his last album, Styles P decided he'd be better off on the independent route for his album Super Gangster (Extraordinary Gentleman). While the title seems to be a rehash of his first album title, A Gangster And A Gentleman, it doesn't seem that he could be anymore gangster. How does a rapper who christens himself "The Hardest Out," increase his gangster level? (Gangsterosity? Gangsterness? Gangsteritude?)
click here for more

JEANIUS COVERS

Jean Grae's Jeanius album will be given a proper release by Blacksmith/Warner Brothers. The 2004 album, entirely produced by 9th Wonder, was leaked and then shelved and fell into the annals of music as one of the "what if/unreleased" albums. Due to sample clearance issues, some of the beats have been changed to protect the innocent. But with 9th Wonder at the helm, it's in good hands. Either way, it's good news for fans and soon-to-be converts.

Also, Jeanius will be released with four different covers. All parodies of classic hip-hop albums. Personally, I don't know if I like the Black Sheep cover better or the Public Enemy. Then, again the Das Efx and Raekwon one covers both look fantastic. A consumer's dilemma.


Thanks to okayplayer.com

Thursday, January 10, 2008

THEY'LL KICK YOU AND THEY'LL BEAT YOU AND THEY'LL TELL YOU IT'S FAIR


"I perform like Mike,
Anyone -- Tyson, Jordan, Jackson"
-Notorious B.I.G.


Face it. Despite all his alleged missteps, Michael Jackson is a legend. Even Biggie Smalls had to give him his props, long after all the charges that tarnished the crown of the King of Pop. Pretenders to the throne like Justin Timberlake and Usher have run with his style so long, they should be paying him royalties. Thriller was the biggest album of my generation. But while Thriller was huge, MJ's legacy was cemented by the Motown 25 TV special. In a pop culture sense, his performance was our generation's "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" I remember where I was because I was sleeping but my mom woke me up because she realized this was going to be something I should see. And I was amazed by it. I could gush on and on about Thriller but that would be pointless. Either you know or you don't. That's it. Point blank.


But like all classics, someone wants to go back and tinker with it. But what happens when you mess with classics? Disaster. Coke became New Coke which went right back to being Coke Classic. Not to mention, George Lucas, in all his brilliance, messing with the Star Wars movies. In honor of its twenty-fifth anniversary, Thriller 25 will arrive in stores next month. And like so many works of art, they've decided to jazz up some of the old favorites with remixes of classic songs. And it's not pretty.
Black Eyed Peas member will.i.am does the majority of the remixes and doesn't do the best job. (Note: will.i.am is hit or miss. His production for Nas, Talib Kweli and The Game almost make you forget the BEP catalog. Almost. Then you remember his list of musical hate crimes and it erases all the good work he's done.) He turns Jackson's duet with Paul McCartney (before he was Sir Paul) into a shoddy club song. Taking McCartney's place, will.i.am adds soaring synths and the brilliant lyric "She likes the way I rock." He repeats this in the chorus ad nauseum. There may need to be a music version of the Nuremberg Trials for this sonic atrocity. Also, will.i.am has a hand in joining Akon in ruining "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin" and "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" I'm sure you're thinking "How is that possible." He's that good. Will.i.am can do the impossible. Does he really think adding his dreadful lyrics helps the song? I guess the answer is yes. Fergie, another musical war criminal and fellow Black Eyed Pea, performs "Beat It 2008," a duet with the King of Pop. They guitar part, which is the real heart of this song, is muted and lacks the punch of the original. I'm pretty sure The Black Eyed Peas hate everything that's good and won't rest until all is destroyed and the only thing left is "My Humps."


Thriller 25 has one saving grace in "Billie Jean 2008" featuring Kanye West. It's a step slower than the original. West infuses melancholic strings and classic hip-hop drums, similar to "Flashing Lights." Where Kanye differs from will.i.am. is that you can still hear the original composition being newly interpreted. Will.i.am seemed to be just trying to do club versions of old Thriller classics. Also, West just offers simple ad-libs of "Uh huh" instead of trying to kick entire (wack) verses.


Unfortunately, this is the way the world works. Jackson's legal fees over the last decade or so, have rendered the King of Pop practically bankrupt. He needs a hit. Badly. Like a crackhead (word to Chris Rock). And when you need a hit record, you have to turn to artists like Kanye and people pretending to be artists like Fergie. That's how it is in the '08.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

TOP 10 CDS of 2007-addendum

"Popular Demand" - Black Milk
"Undisputable Truth" - Brother Ali.

TOP 10 CDS of 2007

In no real order (other than "Graduation" being the best of 2007)

Graduation - Kanye West
Desire - Pharoah Monche
Mood Muzik 3 - Joe Budden
Living With The Living -Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
Jesus Price Superstar - Sean Price
Below The Heavens - Blu & Exile
The Cool - Lupe Fiasco
Favourite Worst Nightmare - Arctic Monkeys
Getback - Little Brother
Ear Drum - Talib Kweli